IT WAS A PLEASANT SUPRISE - TOP 40

It has taken me 3 months to write this blog. I think it's because the news of this award was still sinking in.

I never really knew l was ingrained to inspire and motivate others and more especially the young people. Back in Kenya High School my cubicle will always be full of form ones and twos sharing their life with me and in need of help. I was so engrossed l had to remind myself over and over my reason for being in school was education and despite mentoring these young people l needed to study.

After l cleared High school, l still found myself pursuing the same cause. I would invite young girls to our house and talk as we had snacks and drinks. At one time l even invited some young girls from church for a sleep over and we spent the entire night just sharing the struggles each had as a young girl and l would advice accordingly. It was an awesome night and l really got to bond with the said girls. Right now they are all grown up and doing very well in life. This really inspires me to reach out to more young people.

So as time went on, i realized l was really called for the young people and as a result l registered my own international NGO "Pearl of Hope". It was registered to mainly talk to young girls about their reproductive health to enable them to make informed decisions. But with time l would also talk to them in regards various life issues and mentor them. As the number increased l got other mentors to help and also included the boy child in the program. This was because l realized the society had sort of forgotten the boy child, and yet they also need someone to mentor them especially those who grew up with absentee fathers.

As l was doing all this, l never really knew the magnitude of impact it had caused until the day l got an email requesting to interview me have been ranked as a Top 40 under 40 woman. Initially l thought it was a hoax until l spoke to the person who had been instructed to interview me by Business Daily.

It was a great shock and it really didn't sink until August 7th when l got a copy of Business Daily and l saw myself among the great women nominated. I read that paper over and over again. In fact l got myself two copies just to be sure. Hilarious, right....yeah. That's how surprised l was.

I realized that i had to now raise the bar and mentor even more young people. To God who has brought me this far, to my dear Mum Pauline for bringing me up in the ways of the Lord, to my brother Victor for moral support and to all my men tees for allowing me to speak into your life, l want to say Thank You. I have now put on another gear and l will ensure l mentor as many young people as l can possibly can.

The statue l received from Business Daily on 24 September, is a constant reminder someone is watching and l can't disappoint.

God bless you all and you too can play a great role in this society to make it a better place.


At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel. (Maya Angelou)

NELLY GATONYE RANKED AS TOP 40 UNDER 40 WOMEN 2015

http://www.businessdailyafrica.com/Top-40-Women-Under-40-2015--Who-is-on-the-list-/-/539444/2832620/-/j3gmhu/-/index.html

An Independent Woman Response to her suitors!

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes. She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?' The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.
She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me.
God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. She replied, "I'm worth a lot".

GROW UP!!!

It’s mandatory for everyone to grow up i.e. mature.

What is maturity? We are all expected to change as we grow unless you’re not normal. But l have realized maturity is not so obvious.

They are people who still behave and reason the same way they did when they were kids/teens.

According to Wikipedia definition of maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive.  Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in. So according to this definition we are expected to deliberately purpose to unlearn some childish behaviors and simply grow up.

I believe these are some of the things that shows one has matured;

1.      Keeping long-term commitments.

One key signal of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means one is able to keep commitments. One can commit to continue doing what is right even when they don’t feel like it.

2.      Unshaken by flattery or criticism.

As people mature, they sooner or later understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.

3.      Possessing a spirit of humility.

Humility parallels maturity. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. Mature people aren’t consumed with drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and can even sincerely give honor to their Creator who gave them the talent. This is the opposite of arrogance.

4.      Decisions are based on character not feelings.

Mature people live by values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They are able to progress beyond merely reacting to life’s options, and be proactive as they live their life. Their character is master over their emotions.

5.      Expresses gratitude consistently.

I have found the more I mature, the more grateful I am, for both big and little things. Immature children presume they deserve everything good that happens to them. Mature people see the big picture and realize how good they have it, compared to most of the world’s population.

6.      Prioritizes others before themselves.

A wise man once said: A mature person is one whose agenda revolves around others, not self. Certainly this can go to an extreme and be unhealthy, but I believe a pathway out of childishness is getting past your own desires and beginning to live to meet the needs of others less fortunate.

7.      Seeks wisdom before acting.

Finally, a mature person is teachable. They don’t presume they have all the answers. The wiser they get the more they realize they need more wisdom. They’re not ashamed of seeking counsel from wise people (parents, pastors, mentors) or from other sources. Only the wise seek wisdom.

So, please purpose to grow up, to mature and life will be bliss.

IT'S AN AMAZING FEELING TO BE AN EMOTIONALLY STABLE WOMAN!

Happy New Year to you all!

2014 was an amazing year for me but of course l had a few challenges but by God's Grace l managed to overcome them.
In 2014 i had a chance to be a guest in Woman Without Limits a program in Ntv hosted by Rev Kathy Kiuna. It was  dubbed "singles chat", with 10 single accomplished ladies and 10 single men. We started with the ladies and while at it,the host asked me a very intriguing question, about emotional stability. It took me by suprise because at that particular time l was going through a very tough time emotionally but for the sake of the show l gave her an answer which l would say was for the tv audience but in reality there was more than meets the eye.

 During the program she said something that really struck me....as to why it's so crucial for women to be emotionally stable because men can't stand unstable women emotionally and vice versa, l personally can't stand a man who can't hold it together. Immediately she said that, i realised part of the reason so many ladies are still single it's because they have no emotional intelligence and right then l wished  l had covered that in my book "I GOT IT ALL BUT STILL SINGLE?"
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. The ability to express and control our own emotions is important, but so is our ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Psychologists refer to this ability as emotional intelligence, and some experts even suggest that it can be more important than IQ.
 I have learnt through experience how admirable it is to have emotional intelligence. Being a cool,calm and collected lady as opposed to being a drama queen which is rather unattractive.
It demonstrates you are a lady who knows who she is and what she wants in life, a secure lady. Having been a "Drama Queen" at some point in my life,it is not a trait l was proud of at all and having worked on myself in regards my emotions it is such a great feeling to now be incharge of my emotions. You stand out like a queen and you attract great men your way unlike being a drama queen where l would attract not so good men. Remember you attract who you are. Be who you want to attract.
Being incharge of my emotions has greatly improved my personal life in all aspects and how l relate with people.
 We all probably  know someone who is a master at managing their emotions. At least l do, many and now can count myself in the same list.They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they're usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EI. They know themselves very well, and they're also able to sense the emotional needs of others.

Work on your emotions,study materials on how you can do that like l did and trust me you will realize it is so worth it. Your life will change for the better. Let's strive to be ladies who are in control of their emotions irregardless of our situations or "hormones". You can make that your new year resolution. God bless you all. 

Quit the desperation

Don’t spend the rest of your singlehood being jealous of those who already have husbands, nor throw tantrums at God for forgetting you. No more pity parties. You not going to put your life on hold as you do calculations on how God is going to give you a husband, when He is going to give you a husband, or wonder if He even intends to give you a husband. You must soberly determine what is beneficial for you to do between now and 'I DO'.

This is because biological clock has been blamed for making women settle for a Mr. Right Now instead of waiting a little bit longer for the Mr. Right. With so much fear that they may not be able to 'compete' with younger looking women, some make themselves so cheap and act desperately and clingy, and in so doing they make the men in their lives flee for dear life. Some have forced themselves in their men's lives so much so that you would think they were already married, and because men like free services like those of a cook, cleaner and such, they play along knowing that they will never pop the question to these women.

When you are busy losing your respect to a man who will never marry you, you are denying one who could be your Mr. Right the chance to meet and love you. You cannot afford to sabotage your future by acting like a wife to someone who will never make you one. Come on ladies, uphold your dignity!

The rush to be in a relationship, just to have someone in your life does not allow room for the establishment of the key ingredients of a healthy relationship, the love of self first.You would need to invest love in yourself first when you are looking for someone to love you.  However, as you begin to grow you will come to understand that the very key to having more love in your life. is to demonstrate to yourself that you are loveable.  You do this through self-mastery, self-care, and self-love.

The more we practice self-mastery the more we can look deep within and find the things our mirrors (relationships) show us about ourselves through the broken and troubled relationships we have had.  We begin to fix our issues and settle the trauma and drama that is going on within.  Once we come to a place where we are fully engaged in loving ourselves we are then ready to let go of our egos and allow love to naturally be a part of our experience.
Moving out of desperation for love is imperative to true harmonious relationships.  Both parties are engaged in relationship because they are comfortable in their own skin and bring to the table healthy, thinking and contemplative models that are prepared to do the necessary self-work that brings about the full beauty of the relationship.
Stop being desperate for love.  Desperate for a man or desperate for a woman.  Sit still and realize that desperation does not bring about the perfect relationship.  It brings you more pain and suffering as you complicate your life with a new experience that results in a painful ending for you to sort through another lesson.

Enjoy your season of Singlehood!!!

It is not a curse to be single. It is not wrong to fantasize about being married just like your friends. What is wrong is to spend your life being miserable or to put your life on hold, wasting God given precious moments simply because you feel like your shelf life is over or almost over and no man/woman seems interested in you.

You should therefore purpose to make the most of the season of singlehood because there are some things you can only be able to do when you are single, and there are some adventurous trips you can only make when you are single. With marriage and family come more responsibilities and

more lives and so you may not have the freedom to do what you want. You may not see it that way, but the same way marriage is a gift, so is singlehood. You should not waste one gift from one

pity party to another as you wait to get to the other, both should be enjoyed. To enjoy singlehood, we need to first of all stop feeding on some age old lies and annihilate them. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so choose to enjoy your today. Joyce Meyer once said, “Enjoy where you are on your way to

where you are going.”

Contrary to some beliefs in some cultures that singlehood is a transition stage between childhood and marriage, it is key to know that it is a season just like any other. Depending on one's destiny which is unique, singlehood can also be a long term lifestyle choice so it is important that you know that even in a world of married couples, you still have an identity and a special place in the family of God. Some people say that one is not complete until they get married. This is a lie from hell –you are so complete! You do not need a man to complete you; you only need him to compliment you.

In response to some issues concerning marriage and being single, Paul said this:

“Now to the unmarried and to the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than toburn with passion.” 1st Corinthians 7:8

There are several messages in this scripture but key to this article is the message that getting married is not the only God ordained lifestyle. Nowhere in the Bible is it written that it is mandatory for one to get married. Do not let familial and societal pressure to jump into a long term decision that you

might regret for the rest of your life. If you are convinced that marriage is not for you, then go ahead and enjoy being single. Avoid the rush because the grass is not greener on the other side.

Enjoy singlehood now and do not let anyone tell you that the grass is always greener on the other side of the matrimonial fence. Whether the grass is greener or not depends on the effort either side is making. Someone once made a joke that if the grass is greener on the other side then the water bill must be higher too!

Ask your married friends and some will tell you that 'happily ever after' is a thing that does not exist in most marriages and that if they could turn back the hands of time, they would not

cross over to the other side. Stop wasting precious time thinking that life would be much

better if only you were married. Some people think that their loneliness can be cured if only they could get married, only to realize later that marriage can be a very lonely place to be.

Others want to get married so that they can FINALLY be happy. Truth is, no one can make you happy, your marriage partner can only compliment your own happiness, so before you start thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, try making the grass on your lawn green as well. Strive to make it better even in singlehood. Quit the obsession to get married just because everyone of your friends is getting married. You might land on the other side of the fence only to realize that hidden by the green grass are some thorns/sewage.

Be single and satisfied!!!

© Copyrights 2014 by Nelly Gatonye.